well it's been long since i last write a so-called diary here..i should change the title maybe...this isn't like a diary at all...huhu..maybe the title of this post might seems something big..but honestly,i don't really know what i want to say..hahaha...it's actually pretty much about what had happened in my life for the pass few weeks..it's been super strange and i dno,it's a mixed up of thousands of feelings..one minute i'm happy and sad in the next hour..i really am kinda like a mess those pass few weeks..
i've been close to someone and it all change people's perspective of me.i knew this would happen too.but you know what,at some part of my life,i still just wanna be me..people say this and that,in front or even worst behind my back,it does somewhat effects my feelings..frankly speaking,i often easily get distracted by someone who wants to understand me..to me,there's nothing wrong with that..i love it when someone wanna be my friend and share things with me..
i don't think i'm kinda person who fall so easily in love with someone i just know.to me,the society that i'm living in have so many troubles with this.i don't blame them.it's somehow show that they also do "care" about their surrounding(good thing about that).what else can i do other than just accepting this.people might say i'm a coward or "gedik" or just whatever they wanted to call me,but the truth only God knows.people who know me well wouldn't simply judge me like that.good thing is that i'm getting used to it.it's just that sometimes it hurts me,what's more when it also effect the one that i care.in college,to be honest,i don't seem like i have anyone that i can share my feelings with..other than people who are close to me and care about me.i do appreaciate their presence in my life.i'm afraid of losing someone,always do.coz i do know how's it feel.i just hope someday,people will be willing to know me more before judge me.i know i'm not a perfect person,i didn't claim that i am one.i just need someone to called friend.if you really know what it means,then just come and talk to me anytime,i can be your friend too.just that sometimes i might get used to being alone.even in a place full with people.coz sometimes,being alone can make you feel like having thousands of friends around you.
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